The Unmaking of the Nightmares. Part One

This is PART ONE of a series.

(There's an important vBLOG post that wants to come through on this meditation.)

Our Source, the eternity of Universal Consciousness, the Heart of Compassion reaches out to communicate (commune) with us in countless ways. Like a loving canine or feline or other non-human companion, persistently employing tactics to affectionately gain our attention... sometimes the strategy is simple, waiting, patience, being in a state of rest, because sometimes the only thing that can sufficiently gain our attention is the absence of something: Loss. We will all notice a vacuum in the heart and soul. Even Nature notices vacuums, as demonstrated consistently in physics.

Right awareness can help us fill what in some schools of thought is referred to as a "God-Sized Hole." Suppressing or resisting facts of our experiences of loss, or something missing -- often called "denial" in modern psychology, only serves to deepen rifts in the psyche, and can generate ever increasing sensations of discomfort, frustration, anger, pain, and ultimately dis-ease and dis-order of all kinds. Fear of loss in a dynamic, changing universe/world is another generator of a disconnect from our center, from the Heart of Universal Consciousness. I like how I have heard Rev. M. Beckwith of Agape International refer to it - the divine love-intelligence of the universe.

It is in this disconnect that the warping of consciousness occurs, and nightmares arise - both the imaginary metaphysical kind, and the material, physical manifestations of those. It is in the reconnection that the dream arises and the reality of healing, longevity, protection, health, and wholeness comes into being.

So what causes the distractions that cause such extensive grief and vexation in the first place? Very simply put, it is being out of balance in the survival-pleasure matrix. For many this may invite further discussion and explanation. So the most important consideration here really, is less about understanding the problem right away, and more about the keys to the solution. The way out. And the first key is distinguishing the balancing effects of MODERATION, and how to navigate the mind-body engine to get there.

When I was practically "forced" into meditation this morning (a story unto itself), what I connected to was an expansive mental state, and a flow of wisdom, understanding, realization that is profound, and extensive. When completed my experience and my "listening," I had fully expected much more physical time to have past. Maybe 40 or 45 minutes. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the clock, and saw that only 12 minutes had gone by. Thoughts at the deep levels of the unconscious mind proceed at speeds thousands of times faster that those that occur on superficial levels of mind. And even superficial thoughts are hundreds of times faster that the speed at which we can speak or type. And this constraint is not necessarily such a bad thing. (Another topic for another day). So accepting that part of the "rules" of physical life are constraints of space and time, I have accepted gladly that I will not be able to "output" the nature, information, possibilities and practical applications for living that I "brought back" from my engagement with what I'll call for now, "Intelligent Eternity."

I have attempted so far to map "markers" or "guideposts" into this first article, to help me find my way to recollecting and sharing with you as many illuminations as I can try to recreate in space-time. One beautiful guidepost, is the contemplation of gratitude for all the ways Universal Wisdom and Compassion has showed up through and as, all the teachers, loved ones, and strangers who have contributed to the well of knowledge, love and understanding I draw from to this day. Also, to be glad for the gifts I give to others, to the world; then to remember disengage from resentment that I am not getting "my share" or my due. The mind likes to play tricks on us in many ways, for many reasons. The amazing brain we have can spend it's time thinking of lots of ways to justify or excuse any of our faulty thoughts, mistakes, or misunderstandings, and to make up not so nice things about others based on distorted evidence, or no evidence at all. So it's particularly important to remember that the voice of the source speaks often through those closest to us, usually in between words, and to remember to be grateful too for the gifts they give us. Especially the small or unseen ones. Remember to stop being a jerk, and making excuses for that. (If you are human, this applies to you, universally. If you don't think you have been or acted like a jerk at some point in your life, you haven't looked deep enough.) There is no justification for punishment in teaching/learning, in living. None. It is No-one's job to punish others. This doesn't mean there aren't consequences, but it also doesn't excuse behaving with a lack of compassion, and becoming bad actors ourselves, inflicting more pain and suffering into the universe.

As you read on in this series, I continue to channel my reflections and meditations on this subject, we will be going into deeper and deeper conversations that take us into the dimensions of myth and story, as well as a dimension of applied metaphysics, that applies simple, established principles of physics for understanding our experience of existence, the causes of the state and condition of life we are living in at any given moment, how social and emotional experiences can be understood and transformed, and how to magically transmute the nightmares into our dreams of harmony, beauty, and fulfillment - filling the "God-Sized Hole."

We'll explore how we can each become "receivers and transmitters" of the unmaking of the nightmares, and the making of a world of beauty, where things work out, where we are in an empowering metaphysical (and physical) "dance" with what it takes to be alive, our ordinary daily tasks, our responsibilities, the uncovering of our tremendous individual potential, beauty, space and time. Can the future reach out and heal the past? 

This series is really about the dance of the "spirit" through life, and it is how we can make it a joyous one.

Grief and Loss - What it means to "Let Go," and Move Forward

Of course, all of my discourses on these topics draw on personal experience, and are not simply theoretical speculation, or academic/abstract conceptions. 

After a loss, particularly a traumatic one, we go through a grieving and healing process. And we will inevitably come across conversations, ideas, etc. that involve phrases like "letting go." 

What does this really mean? And what do people think they are saying when they talk about letting go whether they have been bereaved, or are trying to offer comfort to the bereaved?

These days, I think it's too easy to hear it, like, "moving away from what or who was lost... putting it/them behind you. Forgetting..." On subtle and not so subtle levels this phrase may give an impression that is not doing justice to the special value or importance that those we lost had for us, for our lives, the love we shared, and the intrinsic value and uniqueness of their very existence. They meant something to us. So what exactly are we supposed to let go of? They had a very real and impactful, meaningful effect on the world, on us. The timeline of our history is interdependent with their existence, and that effect doesn't stop when their physical life function ceases.

Letting go, then, really has more to do with our relationship to the material reality our brains have mapped to. When characteristics of that material reality change abruptly, such as someone we love passing away, the brain has to work very hard to catch up on many levels of it's functioning.

From the experiential dimension of this process, psychologically, we are faced with a new version of the present, and there is no opting out, really, of the new now -- the new timeline of the present moment. Our loved one is no longer a living physical presence and force in our material existence anymore. SO it's really a letting go of "the way things were," not a letting go of our love, memories, thoughts, effects, and differences they made in our lives. It is because of all these things that out departed loved ones will always and undeniably be a part of us. And it is in reconciling with this new version of reality we are now living, that we are able to remember them, and appreciate their contributions to our lives with less and less intensity to the pain we feel from the loss trauma. Over time, as we allow it, more and more strength returns and we can begin to freely experience the empowering and continuing presence of the love we shared with our beloved in life.

I've heard the phrase "moving on" also used along with "letting go." And to my ears, especially in the event of a traumatic loss, "moving on" seems to suggest a cold and callous approach. When we love someone, and they were important parts of our life experience, does the world expect that somehow, now that they are gone, we would (or can) just carry on as if they are no longer part of our thoughts and valued components of our life structure?

Where is the recognition of how they are honored in our hearts, still loved, alive in our memories and thoughts, appreciated for all they were, and all they meant to us? Sometimes, I do worry that some people, especially those with little to no experience with loss and death, may expect the grieving to just "get over it" and not understand why they aren't functioning "normally."

I think a much better conception and expression of the appropriate, compassionate and correct idea is embodied in the phrase "moving forward."

This suggests that the arrow of time moves ever in the direction of the future, and recognizes that while we are still alive, in the midst of life changes, experiences of loss, gain, grief and joy, there are still steps to take until our own very last step is taken and breath is drawn. We are not moving OFF or away from the honored loved and lost. We are moving WITH them in our hearts into the future, and all the ways we can act to honor, remember, and still express in life, the forever imprint of love they have become for us. 

"Moving forward" reminds us that even though the book of life for our loved ones has been completed, our own story does not need to stop as well. It surely does feel as if a part of us dies with them, and that's because our living story with their physical agency (material, physical life) has indeed ended with them. But, again, as our own lives do still persist as we survive, the memories, love, effects, impacts and differences they had on our lives continues as well. So there is now a new story; a new book is opened. We can call it the book of AFTERlife with our dearly departed, because we know that who we will be, and how we will live into the future, will forever be affected by all the ways our loved ones touched our lives, and have become undying parts of us.

When I've been desolate in my own grief from loss, and I have felt like giving up,  I ask myself the following question: "When I pass away, would I want my loved ones to give up on life in their grief... to have nothing left to them but loss and despair, when I am gone? Did I live and love them, to have them fail in their own life stories after I go?

Of course not. I want to have made a big difference in the lives of everyone I have known, shared experiences with, and loved. I would want them filled them up with all the love and inspiration, words and thoughts of help and hope, and wish that these things would always be with them as comfort and support long after my time. I would want the imprint - the memories - of my presence to be loving, healing, to help them always find the strength to go FORWARD powerfully in life. I would be adamant that they survive, thrive, and succeed in whatever challenges they may face as they continue in their own stories. And finally, I would want that they too will finish their life's journey, leaving stories of their own love to continue on with the living, that the love they were in life, survives long after they are gone from planet earth.

The memory of my beloved says to me: I did not come into your life to share love and leave with you happy memories so that you would be in despair and fail at life - whether I live or die. I was in your life so that you would have love, help, healing, and comfort; that you would be happy, that you would make it through whatever difficulties you would face, and succeed no matter what. Now that I am gone, remember what I wanted for you. The memory you have of me is still loving you, happy to be with you, comforting, encouraging, and always there... If I made a difference for you then, let me continue to make a difference for you now. Honor my life and who I was for you, by remembering me warmly and all the affection I gave, by never giving up,always paying the love I left with you forward, and that you will remember that doing, so I can live on forever.